she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
