I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
