You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
