My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
