She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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