You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
