You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
