Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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