While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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