just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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