I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
