never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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