i was rollin on her like bob the builder
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
