I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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