the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize