stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
