I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
