I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
