You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
