YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
