Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
