You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Two words: blizzard sex
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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