I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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