That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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