Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
