just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
