my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize