just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
