Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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