Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize