Apparently you make a good broom.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
