Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
