We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
