You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
