Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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