Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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