There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
