Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
