Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize