Small penises have feelings too.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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