who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
