Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
