I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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