worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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