I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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