you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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