Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
