...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
