im drinking this country out of the recession.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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