I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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