saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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