margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
