M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
