you guys were way drunker than both of me
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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