i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize