She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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