I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
