I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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