Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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