i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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